The Bottom Line E-Book
Walt needed a good wingman to go out with him to meet up with Alexa and her friends, so he called Merle.
“Hey Merle, what’s up?”
“Nothing--what are you up to?”
“I met this really hot girl the other night. I’m meeting up with her and her friends at the bars tonight. Feel like going out?”
“Sure. You should come over and we can hang out before we go.”
“Alright, let me get ready and I’ll head over.”
“Sounds good.”
As Walt drove over to Merle’s house he thought about what the night might lead to and the possibility of actually creating a relationship or maybe even just a friendship with Alexa.
“Good to see you, Walt.”
“Thanks, good to see you, Merle.”
“So, who’s this girl?”
“I met her at the Tim McGraw concert. It’s Alexa from high school. I don’t know if you remember her. She is really hot. I also think we may have connected on a deeper level and there is a chance of something more developing. She’s into country music and we talked a little bit about what songs we like. She even seemed interested when I opened up and shared with her why I like one of Tim McGraw’s songs so much. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again.”
“That’s cool. By the way, Brendan says you quit drinking. Is that true?”
“Yes, well, sort of. I tried but didn’t have the will power to keep it up the other night when I met Alexa.”
Merle sensed Walt’s frustration and asked, “Why did you decide to quit drinking in the first place?”
“I don’t know exactly. I just felt guided by my intuition and gut.”
Merle thoughtfully offered his perspective: “Please let me be honest with you. There is a definite reason why you were guided to quit drinking. You will never be able to accomplish what you are supposed to accomplish in your life if you continue to drink. Additionally, you will never be able to quit drinking by relying just on your personal will power. Tell me again why you decided to quit drinking.”
“I just felt it in my gut. It was almost like a visceral instinct. I don’t know exactly why. It just seemed like my intuition was guiding me to quit.”
“Okay, and where do you think that feeling in your gut and the guidance from your intuition originates?”
“I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I am not sure. I’m guessing it probably comes from my Higher Self and the Holy Spirit.”
“Yeah. That’s what I think too. So, that is the part of yourself that will give you the power to overcome your desire to drink. And if you freely choose to, you will eventually overcome it with ease. Quite literally acknowledge that there is a part of you that wants to drink, then surrender that part of yourself and your personal will over to the Holy Spirit or some Higher Power. Then by surrendering your will to God’s will, you’ll have the strength to remain sober for the rest of your life. Your personal will alone does not have the power to overcome your addictions and your ego’s beliefs surrounding alcohol.”
“What do you mean, to surrender my will over to God’s will?”
“Acknowledge that there is a part of yourself that is in union with God or a Higher Power--if that word is more acceptable to you--or a part of you that was created in God’s image. Then freely and consciously choose to give all control of your thoughts, decisions, feelings, anxieties, intentions, and personal will over to God’s will or to the Higher Power that is accessible within your consciousness.
“If you feel comfortable, ask the Holy Spirit for help surrendering and for guidance when confronted with difficult decisions and circumstances. In that moment of surrender, you will become greater than your circumstances because you are invoking a spiritual power that is far superior to any material difficulty.
“In your case, the next time you’re deciding whether or not you want to drink, offer that decision over to God and follow through with the inspiration you receive. Whatever guidance or support you receive by surrendering, accept it with goodwill and be grateful that you are manifesting the highest good, which may or may not make much sense to you at the time.”
Walt was stunned by Merle’s profound words. “Wow, that seems to make a lot of sense and might actually help me quit drinking. Okay, I know I’ve asked you this before and you didn’t feel like talking about it, but where is all this coming from? How did you develop this perspective and your outlook on life?”
Merle hesitated for a moment and thought about how he should respond.
“Walt, this is not easy for me to talk about,” he began. “Are you sure you want to have this conversation right now? It won’t be a pleasant one. But I can tell that you genuinely do care and sometimes when I talk about it with the right people, I feel a bit more at peace. Just be real with me right now and let me know where you are coming from.”
“Yes, Merle. I do genuinely care and I’m also slightly concerned. There seems to be some sort of heavy burden you’re carrying around. If you feel like talking about it, then I can listen.”
There was complete silence for a moment. Merle had no problem telling other people how to live their life. But, he did not particularly like sharing his life experiences and naked self because of how vulnerable and accessible that made him feel--especially since he had not fully reconciled the events of his past with the philosophy he espoused in the present. Nonetheless, his friend Walt had become pretty good at allowing people to have the space to be their true self. Merle slowly opened up and began to speak with a depth of authenticity that Walt had never heard from him before.
“Walt, when I was in high school, I witnessed something that nobody should ever have to witness. It was during the first week of my sophomore year. My sister, Elizabeth, and I had first period together, Photography. It was her senior year and we both decided to use our open elective to fulfill our Fine Arts requirement by taking Photography since it was one of the activities we enjoyed doing together. We walked to class and took our seats next to each other.”
Merle paused and all of sudden became a bit pensive as he reflected,
“You know, it’s hard to talk about your sister this way. But, Elizabeth looked beautiful that day. Her smile lit up the room and she had so much enthusiasm about being a senior. She was talking to me about the colleges she was going to apply to and how she hoped her boyfriend and her would get into the same one. It was a conversation I will treasure for the rest of my life.”
Suddenly, everything about Merle’s demeanor began to shift. He slumped over, rested his head on his hand and spoke with gravity,
“And, then, out of nowhere, one of our classmates, Tommy, pulled out a gun, went to the front of the class room and told everyone to get down on the ground. It was a moment of absolute terror. I had no idea what to do, but I wanted to stop him. So, I made a mad dash towards him to try to get the gun out of his hand. Tommy was not expecting that at all. He panicked and started shooting in my direction. The bullets missed me, but hit Elizabeth.
“I looked back for an instant and saw my sister bleeding in the face. Adrenaline filled me and I continued toward Tommy, tackled him, and took his gun. I had Tommy penned to the ground and prevented him from shooting anybody else. But I looked back in horror to see my sister’s lifeless body. Tommy had killed her.
“Initially, my intention was just to tackle Tommy and prevent him from shooting anybody. But, when I saw my sister covered in blood, a type of rage that I did not know existed consumed me and I just started punching Tommy in the face because I wanted to hurt him. I kept hitting him for a couple minutes without stopping until some teachers came in to restrain both of us.”
Walt could not believe what he had just heard. He felt a tear in his eye and said,
“Merle, I am so sorry to hear that. If there is ever anything I can possibly do just for you, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thanks, Walt. I do appreciate that.”
“How did you possibly go on with your life?”
“Walt, I know your question is coming from a good place. But, you never ‘go on with your life’ after experiencing something like that. I feel Elizabeth in my heart everyday and think about her often. However, that event was a turning point in my life.”
Walt felt bad for sounding somewhat insensitive.
“I’m sorry, Merle,” he said. I have no idea what that must have been like for you. I guess what I meant was how did that event influence the way you look at life right now?”
“Well, I don’t have an easy answer for you. I spent the next month in a state of anger and depression. Sometimes, I just didn’t even want to deal with it at all. The more I thought about it, the more angry I got. I wanted to hurt Tommy, not simply put him in jail to prevent him from harming others. I wanted to make him experience the physical pain that he put Elizabeth through and feel the emotional hell that my family and I felt.”
Walt was trying to give Merle as much space as he needed and simply acknowledged what Merle was saying by looking at him with empathy. Merle decided to share a little bit more and added, “Then I realized that Tommy was consuming my life and taking away all of my power and energy. I didn’t want to waste any more thoughts on him, so I chose to forgive him and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted from me. I didn’t tell him that I forgave him, but in my heart I had forgave him and let go of his energy.
It also helped that I transferred high schools the next year so I didn’t have to relive that nightmare everyday I went to class.”
“Wow, Merle, what was that like forgiving someone like that?”
“It’s hard to describe. That moment of forgiveness was a major breakthrough for me and also stirred within me a lot of tough questions inside. I started to wonder whether I made the right decision or if I should have taken revenge on him. So, I read every book on forgiveness, which spurred me to read anything I could find on spiritual growth and personal development so I could get a better understanding of life and how I could deal with everything.”
After that, it seemed to Walt like the inflection in Merle’s voice indicated that he didn’t have anything else he wanted to say. Walt took a moment to absorb everything he had just heard and then said.
“Merle, that’s really a tragic experience, and you’re right that no one should have to witness such things. If you every want to talk about this again, then I’m here for you.”
“Alright, Walt. I appreciate it brotha.” Merle perked up a little and looked down at his watch. “Walt, it’s 11:11. We should probably get going soon. You’ve got a young lady waiting for you. You want to head to the bar soon?”
“Yeah, that would be great. I’m looking forward to seeing Alexa again.”
“Okay, I can drive us there. On the way, do you want to listen to a CD I’ve been listening to lately?”
“I guess--what’s it about?”
“It’s about the Law of Attraction. A group of teachers is making a movie about it that will be released next year.”
“Okay, so what’s the gist?”
“Their main idea is the law of attraction. You have attracted everything into your life either consciously or unconsciously. They are essentially saying that what is held in your mind tends to show up in your life when local conditions are best.
Merle went into a little more detail.
“There is nothing new or secretive about this idea though. It has been around since the time of the Bible where people wrote ‘seek and ye shall find’ or stories about people praying for miracles that came true. It gained some mainstream popularity in the early 1900s with Napoleon Hill’s book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ and more recently with Dr. Wayne Dyer’s teachings on the power of our intentions. Now, they are getting ready to release a DVD about this idea calling it the law of attraction.”
“Sure, Merle. That does sound interesting. We can listen to it on the way over.”
When then arrived at the bar, it was around 11:30 on a Tuesday night, and the bar was basically empty except for a table in the back corner.
“I think they’re over here, Merle.”
“Which one is Alexa?”
“Uh, she’s the hot blonde.”
“Dude, the only hot blonde I see has her arm around some other guy. Is that her?”
“Yeah. Let’s just grab a seat and see what’s going on.”
“Hey Alexa, how’s it going?”
She didn’t even look in his direction and barely shrugged her shoulders. Merle and Walt sat down at the table next to Alexa and her friend. Merle leaned over and whispered into Walt’s ear, “Walt, what’s up with your girl? That guy has his hands all over her, and she has her hands all over him.”
Walt struggled to maintain his composure and told Merle, “I have no clue, but she is obviously into that guy and I don’t need to see this anymore. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
A few seconds later Merle spoke up, “I got work tomorrow and I can’t stay out late. Walt, we need to leave. See you all later.”
Walt stormed out of the bar furious, got into the car, slammed the door, and asked Merle, “Alright Einstein, please explain to me how in the hell your precious law of attraction made me attract this situation into my life?! Why did I attract a girl who just played me like a fool?”
Merle was thinking to himself: Perhaps you needed to attract Alexa into your life so that you could learn a valuable lesson such as helping you figure out the type of woman you really want to have a relationship with and how to attract that type of person into your life in the future or to help you learn how to forgive someone. Or, perhaps there are just some things in life that the law of attraction can’t explain.
Merle was too concerned to say all that. Instead he just tried to give some general answer: “I don’t know, Walt. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah, I’m angry and confused right now. How do you think that I attracted this? I didn’t consciously think this scenario into my mind. How does this happen? What did I do? I want to know. Don’t hold back. I want to make sure this never happens again.”
“First of all, I don’t know; but there is some reason why you attracted her into your life. Just knowing that your thoughts are creating your reality and just trying to be conscious of your thoughts is a good place to begin.”
“Merle, just stop. Seriously, stop right now with all of your spiritually correct, robotic cliché answers for life! I am not some minion who likes to read guru-like bumper stickers that recite trendy spiritual sayings. I am an actual person, a real human being who feels things in life. And, right now I feel really bad about the way Alexa treated me. No one deserves to be treated like that. I can’t use my thoughts to create what what Alexa did to me be an acceptable way to treat another human being.
You know, I’ve really heard enough of this New Age crap about how my thoughts create my reality. I cannot use my thoughts to change the type of person Alexa is or what she did to me. She screwed me over tonight, and I can’t use my thoughts to create Alexa into being a nice person or use my thoughts to make what she did to me be an acceptable way to treat another human being or appropriate behavior.”
“Walt, you’re correct, you can’t use your thoughts to create reality, change what is, or turn a person who lacks integrity into a person who has integrity. And, you are probably right, your thoughts can not create reality. But, I do think your thoughts can have a big effect on how you experience your reality.
And, I am not suggesting that you disregard your feelings. You are obviously and understandably angry right now and that is okay. However, you may want to use your thoughts to determine how you respond to your anger right now.
For example, you could use your thoughts to tell yourself that you don’t have any anger right now and you are just going to think positive thoughts. However, that would not be honest with yourself and would result in your anger being repressed and not dealt with in a healthy manner.”
Walt was curious to see where Merle was going and asked,
“So are you saying that I should just let it all out and tell Alexa how I feel to express my anger.”
“I am not sure if that would be the best solution either. That might just add to your anger and make you feel even more enraged and excited about your anger. Another alternative is to use your heart and head to consciously choose to simultaneously feel both your heartfelt anger and also your compassion for yourself, Alexa and the situation.
For example, really acknowledge that part of you is truly angry at her and even hurt. Let yourself feel that anger and then when the time is right, try to use your heart to integrate that anger into the compassion you feel for another human being, your own humanity and the mysterious and unknown metaphysical reasons the whole situation may have occurred.
This process of integrating your anger into your heart takes time. It can be similar to grieving for the loss of a loved one in that part of you will always feel grief or sadness for the death, no matter how much ‘positive thinking’ you attempt to use to make yourself feel better. However, over time you can feel both grief and wholeness.
Walt was intrigued and asked,
“How can you feel two opposite feelings at the same time?”
“It’s similar to what Pat Riley said, ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but simply moving on with dignity despite of that fear.’ So, you can feel both fear and courage, but consciously make the decision to align your thoughts and feelings with whatever thought, feeling or action inspires you to move forward. You will never completely get rid of the fear, but the more you consciously and freely choose to align with being courageous, feeling through your fear and moving forward with whatever thought, feeling or action inspires you to move forward, then the less of an effect the fear will have on you and over time it will begin to dissipate.”
Merle paused and added and some more of this thoughts,
“Also, we may never know the metaphysical reason why you attracted Alexa into your life and you can’t use positive thinking to disregard your true and authentic feelings. However, eventually, after you have allowed yourself some time and space to feel and work through the pain you feel right now, you can then begin to freely choose to use your thoughts to consciously change the way you relate to the situation.”
Merle continued, “For example, you do have the power to make tonight mean whatever you want it to mean. And, after you give yourself some time and space to integrate your anger, then maybe you can forgive her. But, don’t try to forgive her before you give yourself time to feel your heartfelt emotions because then your forgiveness will just temporarily numb and repress any pain you are feeling now.
Eventually though, you can forgive Alexa for what she did and then you can actually, believe it or not, become grateful for attracting Alexa into your life because she has given you an opportunity to practice forgiveness, learn how to heal emotional wounds and overcome a tendency to over-aggressively act out on your anger or hold a grudge.”
Walt thought about their conversation earlier and became a bit more receptive to hearing what Merle had to say and respectfully asked,
“What do you mean by being grateful? I am not even sure I can forgive her for what she did.”
“You can use your thoughts to be grateful because now you have a much better idea of the type of woman you want to have a relationship with. So, Alexa and this situation tonight are helping you to attract what you want into your life by helping you figure out exactly what you do want.
“Thus, you cannot use your thoughts to change your reality or who Alexa is. But, overtime you can use your thoughts to change your experience of Alexa and what tonight means to you.”
“Fine, but there is no way in hell that I am going to call Alexa and forgive her.”
“I’m not talking about that type of forgiveness…And you don’t have to forgive her tonight and feel good right now. Like I said, give yourself the time and space to feel whatever anger, resentment, and frustration you might have. But don’t put yourself through unnecessary suffering. Eventually, after you integrate your anger, try to let her go by forgiving her.
“This type of forgiveness is for you, not for Alexa. You don’t have to tell her that you forgive her. Just forgive her in your heart. All forgiveness means is to simply let go of a resentment. If you don’t want to forgive her, then try to make a conscious effort to just let go of your resentment.
“You may actually get to the point where you are grateful for Alexa because she is also helping you to see and become the best version of yourself. Remember, your thoughts and intentions, especially in times of stress, are critical. Just reach for the highest thought you can think right now and pray for help along the way.
“Plus, knowing that your thoughts are affecting how you experience your reality is a good premise to begin with because it is often easier to start by trying to change your conscious thoughts. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.
“If you truly want to master your life, then you must go beyond your surface thoughts and ask yourself, if my thoughts create my experience of reality, then what is creating my thoughts--how do my thoughts originate and where do they come from? How do I reach that part of my self?”
“Alright, so what causes my thoughts and how do I take control of that?” ventured Walt.
“Well, your mindset, unresolved issues, inspiration, and Divine intervention (which is sometimes referred to as grace) all play a role. You do have an influence on these areas, but it can take more effort and inner work.”
“Okay, so let me try to understand what you’re getting at. What exactly is my mindset?”
“It’s your collection of beliefs, values, self-image, and interpretations about your life experiences. Changing your mindset goes beyond ordinary positive thinking because you must take an honest look at where you are harboring negative thoughts about yourself, detrimental beliefs, or buried grudges so that you can release them.”
“How is this different from ordinary positive thinking?”
“Sometimes ordinary positive thinking is just a way to numb yourself into thinking you are happy when you really are not or a band aid used to suppress fears and detrimental beliefs. Walt, you must acknowledge and take responsibility for your own flaws so that you can let them go and free yourself. Additionally, an effective mindset must be rooted in a belief that you deserve to have good things happen to you and that you are worthy enough to have good things happen to you simply because you part of humanity and a child of God. Just hoping and thinking about a particular outcome is often not enough. You must decide and know that your desired outcome will eventually show up when conditions are appropriate, not just think a positive thought about it.
With a bit of sarcasm, Walt interrupted Merle: “This is all so interesting. But what the hell does this have to do with me attracting Alexa into my life? What am I supposed to take away from tonight? I still don’t get why I would either consciously or unconsciously attract her into my life.”
Merle paused for a moment and tried to see a bigger picture. “Walt, I don’t know why you attracted Alexa into your life. Really buddy, I don’t know why you attracted her. There are some awful things that happen in life that are beyond any human explanation. And, an attempt to attribute their occurrence to the law of attraction, your level of consciousness, karmic tendencies or because your thoughts were not positive enough is at best foolish and at worst cruel and potentially harmful.
For example, there have been great Saints, mystics and spiritual teachers who had cancer, experienced unspeakable suffering and led a life of dire poverty. There ‘level of consciousness’, way they lived their life or inner world of thought was exemplary. So, there is no rational reason that could explain how their thoughts attracted their illness. Moreover, it would be plain cruel to tell someone with cancer that they have that illness because they attracted it and if they couldn’t heal their cancer, it was because their thoughts were not positive enough or they lacked the appropriate level of consciousness, vibration or energetic match to be healed.
Your thoughts and inner world have a big influence on how you experience your life and what you attract into your life. And, sometime there are truly serendipitous encounters between two people who were supposed to meet because they attracted each other into their life for a reason or to teach each other a valuable lesson. But, sometimes, buddy, bad things happen to good people for reasons that just can’t be explained.”
Walt took a sigh of relief and realized that he probably did not deserve what he just went through with Alexa and that perhaps it was just bad luck that Alexa showed up in is life.
Merle could see that Walt was a bit more receptive and added some more,
“But I can tell you, my friend, that how you respond to this situation is going to make a big difference in how you experience your life and what you later attract. For example, the strength and integrity it is going to take for you to resolve the negativity you have towards her right now and this situation is exactly the type of strength and integrity you are going to need to develop in order to take on much greater challenges in the future. The better you are at handling adversity, the quicker you will be able to attract what you want into your life in the future and the more you will be able to enjoy your life.
So try to be grateful for your so-called problems because they can be opportunities for you to evolve. Emotional wounds can open our heart and help us grow stronger if we allow ourselves time to deal with our pain and heal. When you decide to go after what you want in life, regardless of your circumstances, you begin to realize that all the obstacles you encounter along the way can be building blocks that will help you develop the necessary characteristics, qualities, and skills that you need in order to carry out future life purposes.”
“Okay, Merle. But I’m still not sure if I buy your explanation about thoughts creating my reality and the law of attraction. Are you saying that if I think about something, then it will just magically appear and materialize because I was thinking about it? Like if my thoughts truly do create my reality, then if I think about an airplane, would an airplane just appear out of nowhere because my thoughts are focused on an airplane?”
“Walt, it doesn’t work quite like that. Again, like I said, if you had a mindset where you truly believed one hundred percent, without any shred of doubt, that you could immediately manifest an airplane, then it might immediately materialize. However, there have only been a few people who are that Enlightened, and they probably would not use their thoughts to manifest an airplane. And, trying to use your thoughts to create your reality or attract what you want into life doesn’t guarantee it will happen. But, it does increase the likelihood for creating the life you truly desire and for serendipity or Divinely inspired events to take place.
“A more empowering line of thought is that with dedication and discipline your mind will gradually become stronger and your ability to use the power of your thoughts to attract what you want will improve. Using your thoughts and intentions to create your reality and attract what you want into your life is a learned skill that takes time to develop.
Merle continued with enthusiasm.
“Celebrate the process of noticing the tiny improvements in your thinking and ability to enjoy life. These seemingly small shifts in your thinking are far greater than you realize and accumulate into enormous leaps over time. The more you trust yourself and work at uncovering and then letting go of your doubts, anxieties, and fears, the less effort it will take. Consequently, it becomes easier for you to attract what you want into your life.
Walt was bit more receptive, but still seemed aggravated and mumbled to himself,
“This is a lot of work.”
Merle acknowledge his frustration and tried to respond with some compassion.
“I know buddy. This process requires what may seem like infinite patience at times. You may want something, truly believe in yourself, and be completely conscious of your thoughts, but what you desire may not immediately show up or life will throw you a huge curve ball. When this happens, it can be helpful to place your faith in something greater than yourself. For example when you are dealing with trying times, you may want to ask the Holy Spirit or your Higher Self these questions:
“How would You interpret this situation? What am I supposed to be learning right now? How can I use this situation to become stronger? What viewpoint or quality do I need to develop to progress past these circumstances?
“Also, God’s timing is always better than yours. Say you wanted to fly your own airplane. It would be illogical and dangerous for you to immediately manifest your own airplane because you would lack the appropriate knowledge, qualifications, and skills necessary to own and fly it. You would crash and burn if you tried to fly a plane without knowing how to operate it.”
“Jeez, Merle. Once I clean up one area of my life, then it’s like I notice another area that I can improve. It’s exhausting.”
“Yes, any spiritual exploration can be arduous at time. But, I believe the results and asking the tough questions are well worth the effort because slowly, but surely we are moving closer to union with the Divine and towards our own Self-Realization and personal happiness.”
